much needed update

Gavin and I have been travelling all over and I just haven't made the time to blog. I think Im also avoiding thinking too much about this deployment "elephant in the room" and really expressing my feelings. but anyways here is a list of all the things we've been doing thus far. I hope to elaborate more on each one at a later date.

June 25-27- Andy & Kelley's house- played at park and in pool with the cousins. had amazing Italian dinner in backyard
June 27- Drive to Napa. Awesome drive- stopped a few times to keep our sanity but Gav is such a trooper.
Napa- went to parks, gym, dinner with family, tried a movie (unsuccessful, btw) hung out with brothers, baked bread with Allen, shopping, Chef's Market in downtown Napa, Scientopia, swimming at Ted's
July 2&3- Ft. Bragg- Jug Handle Creek Farm for Meme's 70th Birthday Party. Visited with cousins, aunts & uncles. hiked to the beach, sang songs, ate amazing food, bubbles, whoopie cushion, Colin slept in our room with 2 small beds, driving with dad in suburban
July 4- Nightmare at the airport- I was feeling really sick, sat on plane at the gate with screaming kid for 2 hours, flight cancelled, re-booked flight, back to Napa. needed a few days to recoup
July 6- Attempt #2 flying to New York. way better time- sat in 1st row, lots of room for toddler to be happy during 5 hour plane ride.
Long Island- lots of sun, beach, playing outside, reading books, seeing the Fennesseys, retail therapy, Bad Teacher, library, classes at the gym, movie night-Rango & Hall Pass,pedicures, Friendly's
July 9- Heather & John's Wedding
July 16&17- Go upstate to Joyce & Angelo's for a visit
July 20- Museum Day- Blue Star Families- Cradle of Aviation, Nassau Count Firefighters Museum, Long Island Children's Museum
July 21-Target & lunch with Liz & fam
July 22- Smith Haven Mall- Cheesecake Factory-Captain America 3D
July 23- lil Chris's Birthday Party (its really hot out!)

I haven't heard from Matt in 2 weeks. He emailed a few times and called once but now Im just waiting to hear from him again. Being in his hometown really makes me miss him. Everything we do reminds me of him. I haven't shed tears during this deployment but I have a feeling once Im home in my own environment, in my own comforts I will let it all out. There is that pit in my stomach (Matt says he has the same feeling)

Gavin is growing so much every day and I am feeling guilty that Matt is missing it. He needs a haircut and a part of me doesn't want to just because I want things to be the same when Matt gets home but I know that is impossible. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, Matt probably feels guilty- these are all normal feelings. Its just hard. We are having fun, but its just not the same without him. Gavin says: GO! and WHOA. along with the regular, Mom, Nan, PA, yes, shoe, juice, dog, moo, woof.