Missing San Diego

We are gearing up for our next trip...San Diego!! I have so much I want to do and see. Free museums in Balboa Park and Escondido. Free Seaworld. Thank you military for the freebies! I still need to pay for gas and food but it sure helps a lot. Im stoked to see Delanea and Brian but also some other friends I havent seen in a long time. Its exciting to think we will have a week out of the desert in civilization and cooler weather! I was browsing thru Restaurant.com for some possible cheap eats while we are out there and my heart sinks. I miss living in San Diego. I miss the person I was there. Id like to think Im still basically the same person, but being a mom means a whole nother playing field. Im trapped. My husband isnt here. My kid is getting 3 teeth this week. It takes uber planning just to go to the gym. and the guilt involved with taking a moment for yourself ruins it entirely. I never want to be a bother to friends and money is tight so I cant pay to have him watched all the time. but even then, I feel guilty. I only feel somewhat OK with him being in daycare or babysitter care when its for something important, like volunteering or gym. (or doctor appt) but even then, I take him to the doctor with me and the grocery store. (he likes the grocery store and doesnt bother me too much) But if I want to go eat dinner or do something extra-curricular, I feel guilty. He is my responsibility. My job. If I have him at cdc for the morning, why the heck would I pawn him off on someone else so I could get a break? but I desperately need one. I need some adult time. I need a date with my husband. I miss being in San Diego so much because I was free there. I was free and single to come and go as I pleased. I enjoyed my work and school. I worked out with friends everyday at the coolest Hillcrest 24 hr fitness. I went to lunch or dinner when I wanted without a toddler in tow. I went to the beach just for an hour because I could. I do NOT regret having a child. or marrying into the military for that matter. I love my life now. I just miss certain luxuries. I keep telling myself...kids will grow up and then you get the freedom again! But that is in what, 20-25more years. Ill be 50 years old! No wonder my mom goes and parties all the time. Because she can! I dont blame her. She stayed home with us and raised us up. She was super mom. and I see myself liek her all the time. I like it. I like that she taught me how to keep a house running, how to cook healthy meals, how to be a mom without a father/husband around all the time. I am so like her its crazy. I love you mom. I hope you know how much I love that Im like you. I love having healthy habits like you. Recycling, Reusing, Cooking and Baking healthy stuff, doing kid stuff, being crafty around the house. Sure, I wish I was a size 0-2 like you Mom, but we are still beautiful on inside and outside no matter the size. It kills me that I try to be helpful and supportive to some people and they are just too lame, ignorant and immature to realize it. I really hate the attitudes of some girls (no not women, girls) They bash the Marine Corps and think the world owes them something. Our Marines have far more important things to do than deal with your drama. I feel so bad for some of these guys who have these wives who do nothing but cause problems and/or slack on supporting their husband. I just dont understand it. I continue to attend workshops/events to better myself, get out of the house but most importantly understand my husband's job! I will never know everything but every time I learn more of the history, etc, I am so proud and honored to be a part of this life. I just wish others took the time to look outside of your own little world and know its not about YOU! We are taken care of so well. I am thankful for the basic benefits we receive but also the other little perks. Like our trip to San Diego and the free admissions to places. How amazing is that? I love museums and I hope Gavin grows up and gets to remember all these fun things like I remember the fun stuff my mom took us to do. Im thankful Im able to stay home and be so involved in Gavin's life, I just wish Matthew was able to too. To the military, my amazing mom, and my wonderful husband. Thank you for all you did and still do.