Yesterday... what the heck did we do yesterday? Errands in the morning-faxed POA, p/u boxes and custom forms, commissary for fresh fruit, veggies and milk. Gav napped then we played outside in the pool, it sure is warming up here in the desert. Ive been feeling particularly bleh so I knew I needed to get busy with something, so Gavin and I went into the garage and started work on organizing all the stuff in there. Darling husband of mine never got around to cleaning up his mess and its been driving me crazy. PLUS we need to park his jeep in there. So 3.5 hours later all the trash is in trash bags (lots and lots of trash) and gear is organized into bins. The only areas that still need "fine-tuning" is the bookshelf FULL of papers, books, etc. and the joe area which is matt's expertise. I feel so proud for getting it done. Now what is killing me is that Matthew has yet to get online or call me, so I have all this good news to share but no satisfaction of sharing it with him- the one person who I care to impress. :(
Today: thrift store (half off day!) mystery shops with Melissa and Hailey in tow. also hit up walmart and sonic (kids meals for the kids) gav and i got home and had a quick dip in the pool in backyard to cool off then he went to nap. of course i finally settle down and want to sleep and 10 minutes later he wakes up. He has been such a good boy though. We hung around the house until zumba-which was a bust since the teacher wasnt there. Some ladies got their ipod and speakers out so we did an impromptu zumba class and still got our sweat on, but definitely not the same. Good news though, Im volunteering for the first time at NMCRS tomorrow while Gav goes to the CDC. Quite frankly, I need a little kid free time. Hes awesome and even did really really good at the gym tonight, but I just...i just need a second. Ive been feeling so unhinged because of the lack of communication with DH. We did so much work on our relationship and communication and Im feeling so insecure that it wont be so good when he comes back. I hate to feel dependent on him, because I like to think im very independent. BUT he is the only one who can reassure me of our relationship and our vows to eachother. Cleaning up trash in the garage can be satisfying but also disconcerting when you find pieces of paper from the past. Im insecure and I need reassurance right now. Im struggling with deciding whether to burden him with those feelings or leave it be since he is busy with work. I dont want him feeling like I cant be away from him, because I can! Im not sitting around being depressed and eating bon bons. We have been busy and social and active. ugh. its just been a bad emotional day for me.
Speaking of being social: girls night saturday night!! im gonna make tacos and we will rent a movie, undecided as to which movie yet. This will be good motivation to clean up the house (again) and steam clean the carpets too. I think sunday will be a good pool day. I also want to get gavin registered for swim lessons for mid august when we get back from our adventures in the US of A. OK im heading to bed. Here's hoping for something from husband tonight. *fingers crossed*
I hope that you get to hear from Matt soon, I remember having great things to tell Sean when he was away and then I wouldnt hear from him for awhile that I would get so excited when I did that my mind would go blank so I'd always keep a list of all the good stuff that was going on so I wouldn't go brain dead at the sound of his voice lol
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